Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Gift of Good Love

This Sunday was the third installment of the series entitled, Sex, Love, & God, entitled The Gift. Mike Erres described how the bible shows us that sex is in fact a great thing, and it's not something that is sinful, as long as it is done at the right time with the right person. As he described, God intended for us to be able to be sexual beings, as we were originally naked and unashamed. As he says, "we were sexual before we were sinful." Over time, sexuality evolved into something that was no longer used properly, and we have gotten so far away from the way real love should be expressed.

In Song of Solomon, the two lovers grow closer and more crazy about each other, but restrain themselves and vow not to "arouse or awaken love" until it is time. Finally, the two get married and get to demonstrate their love for each other the way it was intended, and it shows that it was well worth it. Sex is holy, and is a gift from God.

"How beautiful you are my darling.
Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats,
descending from Mt. Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn;
coming up from the washing, each has it's twin. Not one of them is alone.
Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon, your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil are like a pomegranate.
Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance.
On it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors."
Songs 4:1-4:6

When the Lover and the Beloved get married, on the night of their wedding, love can finally be "aroused and awakened," but he doesn't rush her. He doesn't coerce her or push her. He woos her, beginning at her head and working down, he describes to her how she is perfect. Every detail affirms that he loves everything about her.

When we wait until we can commit our lives and our hearts to someone, we can finally experience the kind of love, both emotionally and physically, that the Lord intended for us. Romantic, sensual, life-giving love is the way that God gives us the ability for two to become one flesh.

As Mikes tells us, this amazing, romantic interaction shouldn't just be during the honeymoon. This kind of connection should continue throughout the course of the marriage. Even as a married couple, our jobs are to please each other to show each other that kind of love. We cannot demand it, as that wouldn't be honoring each other. We need to always approach the situation with respect and love, no matter how long we have been together.

It's incredible to know that God has a plan for us, even on a sexuality level. It's reassuring to think about the fact that there are such big benefits to following His wishes, because on the other side there are much more satisfying blessings. Though physically it's something that tempts now, if we wait we will be a million times more fulfilled.

Knowing and learning these things has strengthened my convictions about preserving my sexuality for the right time. Though I've known for a long time that sex should be reserved for a healthy, serious relationship, I know now that means that waiting until the night of my wedding will bring so much more satisfaction than anything else. Even now in my current relationship, we both agree that we need to reserve the physical side of love for the future. God has our best in mind and though its a struggle, we aren't arousing or awakening love until it so desires. Despite the difficulty, I so look forward to the benefit of pure, safe, holy physical love with my mate, if or when that day comes.

Lord, I pray that you will help us through the struggle of preserving ourselves until its time for us to express our love physically. I ask that You guide me in making the right decisions and living by Your word. Please help us to strengthen our relationship in all other facets so that one day we may reach that point of intimacy. I trust in Your intentions. God, please grant us the blessings you intend for us. Amen.

Rob Bell's "Flame"
Let our love be all three flames, burning together.

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