An Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters

Mike shared this with us during last Sunday's message, and it really stuck with me.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

Life is all about choices.

When we learn from our mistakes, we can choose a different path.

Being a Christian doesn't mean being a perfect person. A Christian is someone who has decided to entrust his or her life to Jesus Christ. A Christian trusts Christ for forgiveness of sin, a right standing before God, and guidance in life. As a rule, as human beings, we cannot be perfect. We were born as flesh, and in order to live with God we need to die of the flesh and be reborn to the Holy Spirit that lives within us. This is what it means to be baptized, and I'm very excited to say that I am being baptized this Sunday. I haven't been this excited about something in a long time, and I can't wait to publicly celebrate my new life for and with the Lord.

John 3:3-7 Jesus answered and said to him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." 4 Nicodemus said to Him, "How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born, can he?" 5 Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. 6 "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 "Do not be amazed that I said to you, 'You must be born again.'

We are all born as humans, but only when our hearts and spirits are with the Lord can we be born as the Spirit. The only perfect person was Jesus, who was both human and the Lord here on earth. While we can never expect to be as perfect and holy as God, we can live by His example and make our decisions based on honoring Him, not fulfilling our worldly desires. To live by Christ's word is to be selfless, not selfish. He taught us to be kind, loving, honest, generous, and forgiving.

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" - (Matthew 5:38-47)

Every single day, we are confronted with choices. Of course it's tempting to choose the one that is selfish, simple, easy, and immediately fulfilling. As humans, we are prone to picking the easy route; the one that will benefit us. The other choice is almost always more trying, more difficult, and more Godly. God shows us unfaltering love, devotion, and forgiveness. Why shouldn't we honor Him by doing the same for each other? We learned from Jesus to put others before ourselves, but our culture dictates that we should live "every man for himself." Though the easy choice might be instantly satisfying to ourselves, it rarely honors God or satiates us for long. When we live for ourselves, we never experience true joy. Real joy comes from living for God, and doing his work.

During the baptism class I went to on Wednesday, the teacher was talking about how living for God doesn't necessarily mean "doing good." Many times, we can go through the motions of doing good deeds, but if we do them to fulfill our desire to feel good about ourselves, these actions aren't honoring God; only ourselves. He was telling us how he was volunteering with an organization to build houses, and was feeling good until his co-workers showed up, and it turned out that day was the day where they had developmentally handicapped people working on the house. His good feeling quickly turned to frustration and irritation, because now the hard work became hard work and trying to teach/help out someone else, who was having a hard time, in their own job as well. He was trying to help a man with cerebral palsy use a table saw. God spoke to him, and hit him with a "two by four," as he put it. He asked him how he could possibly look down on these people, who although disabled, would spend their day trying to help someone else. Not only were they working through their adversity to help another, but they were getting immense joy from it. He told him that maybe, just maybe, he may get to be one of those people one day - one who, no matter how big of a struggle it is, puts others before themselves and gains more joy from that than anything else. He told him those were "his people."

Every day, we are given the opportunity to either live for ourselves, or live for others and most importantly God. Jesus demonstrated a servant's heart, and the way to be truly enlightened and fulfilled is to find joy in living by His example. This isn't to say we make the choice and we are finished. Living with the Lord is a journey, not a destination. It is a lifelong effort of the spirit to be as close to Him as possible.





Lord, it is so easy sometimes to feel like I should be putting myself first, because that is what I see around me and it seems like the only way to save myself from being hurt. But I know that is not how you lived or what you want from me, and I am so thankful for the kind and generous heart you blessed me with. Lord, Strengthen my heart so I may continue to give to him who asks of me, to go two miles when forced to go one, and to love and pray for those who may not love and pray for me, because I know that is your way. I am devoting my heart to you, and surrendering myself. Please continue to guide me, I'm listening. Let your love rain down on he who is lacking love for himself, shine your light on his darkness. Thank you Lord for selflessly sacrificing your own to absolve us of our own selfish acts. Forgive me for the things I am lacking and help me to see where I can do better for you. Amen.

Protect, Trust, Hope, and Persevere

I keep finding myself back at this place, where the struggle between my boyfriend and I is so great that I question why it is that I'm still here. I know the easy road would be to turn away and cut ties. The difficult one is the one I keep choosing, though. My gut keeps telling me to break up with him and move on, because it isn't good and I deserve more than what I'm getting. But I keep praying to God for him to get through the rough time he's having and for the strength to be here to support him if that's what I need to do. I keep asking God what I should do; if I should leave him and move on, because it sure feels like it. Despite the feeling in my head, I keep getting the response that I need to give it time, and that I need to wait. Going against the Lord's wishes never got anyone anywhere.

So I am here, fighting for us. I do it because I know deep down he's a one in a million, and because I know he's capable of the kind of love I have searched for. I know he has all the key components that I've wanted in a mate. I know when I met him he made me feel validated in who I am, and important, and smart, and beautiful. And above all else, he opened my heart and led me to God. He's changed my life. I think there is something much deeper going on here than a brief dating relationship.

A large part of our conflict I think is due to the struggles he is having in his own life. Although it is so hard sometimes, I can't justify leaving in his time of need. A lot of the time now I don't feel all those things that he made me feel originally. But I want to believe that this is a rough stretch and that we'll get through it. I want to believe that if I was having a hard time, he would stick around and be supportive of me, too. I think love can save a person. And I love him, even when I don't like him.

I'm reminding myself of this verse from Corinthians.

1Cr 13:4	Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
1Cr 13:5	It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1Cr 13:6	Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
1Cr 13:7	It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1Cr 13:8	Love never fails.

Lord, please let my love never fail. Let it protect us and not lose hope for us. Help me to see clearly what we can do to strengthen our bond and heal our relationship. Help us to love each other as much like You love us as we can. Please remind him of how much You love him, so he can love himself again. Restore our hearts for you and for each other. Amen.

A Piece of Rope from the Lord

I've been having a real struggle lately in my relationship. I see all these positive things around me that are changing for the better: most importantly my new faith, my new job, new friends... but the past few weeks it's felt as though the one major negative thing in my life was my relationship with my boyfriend.

Things started to go downhill, and as soon as I saw them changing from the previously dream-like state that they were, I started to worry, and voiced my concerns. I knew that what I was saying was going to be construed as nagging or whining, but when I wouldn't say anything I would only feel worse. It wasn't doing any good to talk about them though, because it invariably turned into an argument with no end, and the result was never a positive resolution but only more frustration on both sides and increased distance between us.

One thing he kept saying to me was, "relax, just relax." But being told to "calm down" when you don't feel like you're stressed out is a really quick and easy way to make someone very angry, very quickly. And of course I would say, "I AM relaxed, I just don't feel good about ______ right now." And on and on we'd go, in circles.

So although things have seemed to get a lot better lately, I think it was really only on a surface level, because as I was trying to explain to him, there's a level of trust in our relationship that's missing in me right now. To which, of course, he kept saying, "just relax." (Arrggghhh!!!)

Finally, after literally 2 hours of arguing back and forth about how the issue wasn't my "relaxing" but the fact that some days I feel loved and some days I don't, he explained himself. He told me he was at church once, where he really hadn't felt like being at the time. The pastor was going to pray for him, and was asking God for any message that he might need to hear. After a few minutes of prayer, the pastor asked him to put out his hands, palms face up, and started shaking them, saying "relax," over and over. Initially this irritated him (it was something his dad had been saying to him for a long time when he would be upset or disappointed with how his life was going, which he responded to identically to how I have been the past few weeks), but the pastor just kept repeating over and over, "relax," as he shook his hands.

It occured to him, after about 15 minutes of this, that what he was trying to get him to do was submit himself to the Lord, and stop trying to be in control of everything. It's so easy for us to believe that as long as we retain a hold on any situation, we can control where it's going to go and how it's going to happen. In reality, we are never going to "be the boss" - God is the boss, and what it really boils down to is that it's always going to be up to Him. Like quicksand, we can either struggle against it (and sink fast), or we can relax and hang out there, because eventually God is going to come along with a branch or a piece of rope and pull us out.

So now here we were, having just argued our faces off, but it all made sense to me all of a sudden. I just need to submit myself to letting things happen. I care about my boyfriend and I show him in certain ways. He cares about me, and he'll show me in his ways too. But those ways aren't going to happen if I keep trying to direct the situation; I have to start just being, to allow him to show me the way he wants to show me. And ultimately, we both need to relax and let our guard down, so that God can lead us in the direction that He sees for us. If we don't relax and let our guard down and start listening to Him, we'll never hear what God wants to tell us.

And after our 3 hour phone call had to come to a close so that I could go to bed and he could get back to work, he left me with Matthew 6; a perfect lesson in God's branch. We need not worry about anything but our own faith in Him, and He will provide for us all that we need.

Mat 6:25	“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Mat 6:26	Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Mat 6:27	Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[fn2]?
Mat 6:28	“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
Mat 6:29	Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
Mat 6:30	If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Mat 6:31	So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
Mat 6:32	For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
Mat 6:33	But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Mat 6:34	Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.