Friday, May 16, 2008

I see You everywhere, Pt 1

The acceptance of God into my life has made a considerable change on how I view the world and my experiences. Even my friends who haven't acknowledged His truth have seen this in me.

Its really incredible to think that only a few months ago, the same things could have happened to me and I would have written them off as happenstance. My realization that the Lord is behind each and every moment of my life has opened my eyes to everything He is doing with me and around me.

Friday marked the end of a relationship that I wasn't happy in for awhile, but I was patient with. I had been praying constantly on it, because my gut instinct told me that I needed to end it to be happy. But every prayer was answered with a very clear response; wait, give it time. So I kept pleading with God to help him find happiness and fulfillment in His love, and to open his heart the way that He opened mine. I asked God to speak clearly enough to him because I knew he couldn't hear Him anymore. I couldn't get him to come to church with me, and I believed that might be the first step in the process of living with the Lord again. When he came over Friday night to break up with me, I told him about all the things I'd been praying for, and that this didn't feel right. This wasn't the answer I kept getting. He told me sometimes our prayers are answered in ways we don't expect or want. I was crushed.

Two days went by without contacting each other. Sunday night was my baptism, and I had hoped he would come. I sent him the address and time, just in case, but didn't expect his appearance. Just as the service was starting, I got a message from him that he was there.

The service began, and the message was centered around how sometimes we can become dead, dry, and empty. He told us that sometimes it feels as though there is no hope for us, and no salvation. But the Lord can breathe His life into us and make us new again. He referenced the Valley of Dry Bones in Ezekiel 37.

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.'" - Ezekiel 37:4

"Then you, my people. will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land." - Ezekiel 37:13-14

As much as this service was a celebration of the death of my old self and the birth of my new life with Christ, I sat listening to Isaac's words and thanking God over and over again for having brought my (now ex) boyfriend to church, and for giving to him a sermon that he needed to hear more than anything. I felt so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude in the Lord for answering my prayers that I could hardly contain my smile during the whole service. I say it today and for the rest of my life, God is truly amazing! And since then, his heart seems to have softened to God's grace and he has brought Him back into his life, and has committed to living fully in His word.

He told me very early on in our relationship that as much as he cared about me as his girlfriend, my spirit was most important to him because that was eternal, and our relationship was worldly. I didn't understand fully what that meant, but knew it was a good thing. As our relationship grew, so did my spirit, which is how I have come to where I am today. Through our breakup and the deliverance of his Spirit back into the arms of the Lord, I can easily say that I understand exactly what he meant then, and that I care more about his Spirit than about our worldly relationship too. I love him and I want to be with him, and if it is God's will, we will be together again when his heart is fully restored and renewed in Christ. But as of now, the most important thing to me is supporting him and encouraging him on his journey returning to the Lord, and I pray that I am as helpful to him as he has been to me.

It is an indescribable feeling when you pray so hard for something and you realize that God has heard you, and you can clearly see his response right in front of you. I knew God wasn't going to let him go, and it is such a blessing to be able to witness the remarkable change in his heart.

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